Traveling With Cancer

I am on vacation with my Mom, daughter and her friend, Willie S., in Anaheim, CA so we can go to Disneyland!

This is a trip I would be excited about no matter what because I love Disneyland (hereafter described as "DL" or "dland") and have loved it since I was a child. We lived nearby as I was growing up and "back in the day" you could go to dland all day/night for about the cost of one book of tickets and $20 spending money. It was something we went to several times in the summer months, as well as several times throughout the rest of the year. Dland is playing, freedom, fun, imagination, creation, family, friends, bonding time, memories, happiness, awe and wonder. Oh yeah, a place where dreams are too.

We are here - now - because we had planned this trip for my daughter's 10th birthday, before my diagnosis. This is her first trip and I would not miss it for anything. I could not have done this at all without the help and support of my mother! She is the one who put this together and into reality for us. I am so grateful to have a loving and supportive family. I am especially grateful that my mother and I have an open and loving relationship. I treasure that! I am thankful that I have a mother and that we get to be a part of each other's lives.

It wasn't too long ago that I did not have a relationship with a majority of my family due to my alcoholism. I was really missing out on the best this world has to offer me - my family - they are the best.
And, because I am a mother, I was determined to have this trip go on as scheduled, cancer or not. I couldn't miss my girl's first dland trip. No way! And, here we are - my mom, me, and my daughter - creating our own memories of the three of us together (sorry Willie! It's a girl thing :-). I am thrilled to have this opportunity.

Every moment counts. Every minute is a new minute and you can use it or lose it. Even if I was feeling really rotten, I would still have stumbled along on this so I could be a part of this family bonding process. Cancer is not allowed to rob me of my life and life experiences! At least, not while I'm in still charge and God and my family are on my side. I know this cancer is simply a phase for growing and learning. A time to renew my optimistic outlook in life. A time to get positive and focused on the real priorities of life. A time to appreciate situations; like this trip to dland even with cancer, like teaching others that "what may have been/the way things once were" are not any longer! That people and relationships get opportunities to grow and change. And because people take advantage of those opportunities, they DO grow and change and relationships blossom like never before.

On this trip we've been able to spend time with other family too. We've seen my dad and his wife, my brother Tom and his family, and I have enjoyed every minute of it. I hope they have too. Being invited to spend time at my brother's house was deeply meaningful as it has been some time since that has happened. How proud I am of my brother (all my siblings, really!) and how deserving he is. A kind, thoughtful, doting dad is he, working so hard and so dedicated to his family. I love my family, each and every one.

Back to travel - since that was my topic! My body has behaved pretty well so far. I had a hard, a pretty hard, time coming back up the stairs from the beach visit. I had to go slow. I was the last one up. My heart was pounding, my head was incredibly hot, sweat started pouring down my face and I felt weak, even dizzy a bit. I was taking in slow, deep breaths, and (did I mention) I was going slow. Twenty-odd stairs and I was worn out. Really slow! THAT'S how the cancer tries to "get" me. I fight back by taking it. (What?)slow, and easy; by resting afterward for a while (like at least an hour), and keeping my head cool. Wet cloths make a huge, enormous difference in helping to cool off your neck and head. Much faster than just laying down in a cool (about 64 degrees cool!) room. Drink a lot of cool water just a few swallows at at time. Renewal happens. Slowly, but it comes.

Tomorrow is the BIG day; if possible, a full day at dland. We've been told to check in at the "city hall" (inside dland grounds) in order to get the "electric cart" (my hope) or the wheelchair (less my hope) for my benefit. City Hall is also the place to get the "quick pass" (my name, not dland's) that takes you pretty much to the front of the line for every ride, avoiding the long lines) completely. That is what will make the enormous difference of barely making it through a few hours, or making it through most of the day. I wouldn't be able to pull this off too well without that special help and I am thankful it is available.

So here I am, making good memories with my family; especially my daughter and my mom (and Willie, sorry there, Willie :) while I have this nasty cancer.

Speaking of that nasty c-thing, I'm going to end by saying that my prayers' are now consisting of several Psalms on overcoming fear, asking for healing and help, gratitude, love and praise for God; as well as my own prayers which include my belief that this is a temporary time, the cancer is being defeated as I write, that every moment of every day I am healing, re-generating, and getting well, that my love and faith for God are growing throughout this process, and, I pray for others and their trials also.

Disneyland may be great, but God is ever more great, and without whom, I would not be where I am today. God has carried me every step along the way, just as He carries me now.

I love you God and thank you for being the Head of my family. What would we ever do without you?!

Well, we wouldn't be at Disneyland, that's for sure!