Interpretations and Musings

First of all, I recently read on a CNN Techology article about a new "cancer game" called "re-mission." The focus of the game (it states it's for teenagers suffering from cancer/going through treatment/helps to visualize killing cancer cells while playing the game) is to kill cancer cells as the main target; to help teenagers to visualize and "participate" in killing the cancer cells in their bodies by playing the game. You can download it for free and/or order a free cd to be mailed to you (which I did because I have a Mac and it's a PC based game; which means I will have to use it at a friends' house). The website listed in the article is: http://www.re-mission.net/site/community/.

I haven't tried it yet since I haven't gotten the cd yet, but what an incredible idea and.... DUH!!?? Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?? Brilliant of those who did put it together. It certainly can't hurt, only help, I think. Anyway, I am excited about trying it out. I may not be a teen, but I can certainly benefit from a "let's kill those damn cancer cells" game as much as the next person.

Also, I am a budding artist. I recently submitted a couple of pieces to an "art show" (more of a submission of art for shared viewing vs awards or competition) at my local church. One piece was a painting which was well received, and the other was a smaller, two piece ceramic scuplture. This piece was "lost" for a few weeks, in that it didn't show in the art exhibition and at first, no one was sure where it went. I was able to locate and retrieve it successfully a few days ago, with the help of one of the art dept. gals.

It turned out that it was "excluded" from the exhibition because it is a sculpture of a faceless, naked woman, which was based upon a 25,000 year old figurine known as the "Venus of Willendorf." The original figurine is thought to be a fertility totem, or a figure celebrating a healthy, potent, female in caveman days. The breasts are over-large, droopy/saggy and prominent because of their size compared to the body and the skinny, almost non-existent, twiggy little arms that barely attempt to lay over the top of the breasts. The stomach is large, pregnancy/well-fed appearing, with large round thighs, cut off at about the knees. The vagina is noted as a small slit, as are the buttocks-again, large and round. She is faceless, with almost no neck, and rounded dots covering her head as her hair. In reality, I believe it is approximately 2 inches tall and a reddish, brown clay color.

My sculpture mimics this pretty well, except that it is about 4-5 inches tall and I have "removed" one breast - showing a "Frankenstein-like" scar covering the missing breast on the chest. I also made it with a simple coiled vase, that is purposely made to enhance the idea of the pieces being very old, and made by cavemen-era artists.

Anyway, when I let the gal know that I had successfully retrieved the pieces with her help/guidance, the truth as to why they had been missing came out.

I don't know what the other art staff thought of my piece, but when she shared with them that I was/am a 6 year cancer survivor and fighter - going through treatment again - I guess "their heads hung low" according to her.

Somehow I guess they saw it as something quite different than a prehistoric breast cancer victim. My title for the piece is "Another Surviving Venus," and the show's focus was on the body - of humans, Christ, your interpretation. I was sort of amused at the reaction; that it was censored that way, and the "guilty" feelings that were apparently felt upon learning the story about my piece's creation and comparison to the prehistoric piece, and breast cancer survivorship.

People are funny, aren't they? Art is in the eye of the beholder. And your eye sees whatever you see easily, I guess. Whatever you are hung up about, or find attractive or ... you know. My painting, in contrast, is a beautiful composition of the "victory" angel, several large California poppies, with patterns, repeated prints, in primarily teal/blue greens and golden browns and oranges. It is not offensive in any way (at least, not so far; it even won 2nd place in local show).

I was intrigued by the whole turn of events and things like that always open my eyes, make me think and mull things over. I think about how we are all similar, yet made so different by our experiences and interpretations of them...and how those initial views can even change over time.

I know for me, for example, learning forgiveness was a liberating, spiritual-growth inducing "tool". It was very diificult for me to accept that forgiveness - of someone who had violated me terribly, for example - was not only in line with what God asks of us, but was also the healthiest, and kindest thing I could do FOR MYSELF. Forgiveness is not "just for the other person" - it is really for you to trust God to handle that person and take yourself off the hook, of guilt, anger, shame, pain - whatever feelings you're having - and let yourself move on. To me, forgiveness is saying to that person (directly or not), I forgive you because I cannot hold these painful feelings close to my heart anymore, and I trust God to work with you as He sees fit. I forgive you because it's what God asks me to do, and because I believe in God to help me heal once I have done this. And by not forgiving, I continue to give that person who wounded me, permission to continue wounding me. I cannot have a true relationship with God, and I cannot heal, if I don't forgive. I cannot grow if I won't "let go".

Anyhow, this whole thing with my art pieces took my mind on this direction and so I am sharing it with you.

I'm glad for experiences that help me grow, even if at first, I don't understand or they are painful. I trust my God today, I believe He will carry me if I need Him too; I just have to remember to let Him.

With Gratitude For All-
Elizabeth Gregory